I also had a fuck buddy who didn't fully identify as gay, the truth is I never gave any importance to that as long as the sex continues to be as good as it was.
I think that’s totally valid. When it comes down to it, I think it’s what works for you out of the situation. Biggest issue is just when the ambiguity becomes a problem, which it doesn’t have to
I found this 'convo' quite surreal as the story you experienced was almost exactly the same thing happened to me 5 years ago.
At working in retail, there are many there who are also college students. The contrasting but many hours of the day allow everything to fall in place between school and work.
I noticed him immediately but didnt really talk in details with until maybe a month later. The store ofcourse kept us both really busy, but one early afternoon he walked into our stockroom and walked right up to me and started talking as if we were close friends, which we just werent. Notice one another yes feet away from eachother but during our work day, just begin in "how our weekends were", just never happened.
"Hey, whats up? You know i made three goals on Friday with my pick up team. Ive been playing for the league since i was a kid. Nothing serious, but just a decent group of guys with some random talent here and there. I play two games again next Fri, at the Iceplex, 6:30 pm"
All i could do was look into his beautiful green/gray eyes and experience how fresh his breath was. I got almost frightened at first as he just came into the stockroom with an effort as he walked right up to me. Felt like when i used to surf during highschool and all of a sudden there was a Shark. Immediate, shocking but you just knew to keep your cool and all would end well. Thats the way ' Trevor' first spoke to me after a month of my starting there. I wasnt given a chance to reply as he told me where he'd be next Fri, then he said, See ya around. He turned and walked out of the stockroom, hit and run, just like that... Lol.
Honestly we worked at the same place, but were clearly not friends. I will say i felt him notice me here and there, but never any convo. I did feel him flirting, from a distance as we worked, so i subtly followed the queues, but we just didnt speak to eachother during work. I was really into him, he was too young for me but fortunately legal, but i understood i wasnt looking for anything at the moment, but he obviously wanted me to know about his game, so i went the following week to catch his game.
I arrived at the rink and saw a few people waiting in lobby inside. I waited about 15 mins and in walks Trevor holding an over the shoulder duffle. "Im late, can you help me?" he says marching past me.I follow him into a bigger, colder room and as i finally realized im now in the changing/locker room with him. I first thought, Oh S#*! but i just went with it. He asked me to help tape up his forearm and hand. He then pulls off his sweats and puts on his gear and pads, i looked at Trevors face. He had such an older, devilish, but manly look as we rushed to get him ready. Im also seeing him, clearly unafraid to strip in front of me, even though he had boxerbriefs on, i was right there really looking at him.
His team won one game out of three.
Another evening after we both were scheduled to close at 11pm. 'Lunch' was 8pm-ish and i thought id return the abrupt, hit and run talking to him at work. I walked to him at his station where he was alone working, printing a work sheet and i just asked him if he going out for lunch. He looked me for maybe a second then turned back to his monitor. I told him, "Theres an excellent fish taco place down the street i found, Im going there for lunch, Join me" I'll be leaving in 15 ... " He never looked back, but he answered with, " Cool... seeyah there'
Since his hockey game, he wasnt more of a friend in the store, still the same quiet and always watching me, not really anymore friendly. I did learn from others guys who worked there who knew Trevor better, they of course were aware of Trevor's hockeygames, but not one ever went to one of his games from work, but Me.
That night Trevor offered to drive us to get Tacos. Finally, he started talking to me. I mostly listened to whatever and anything hed want to share in convo with me. The was amazing but the Tacos were almost two bite tacos, so eating only took 15 mins. We walked back to his car and he stretched after getting in. Now im a dude with a bodyhair fetish. Especially on young males, hair arms, legs but what does it for me is a random catching sight of a guy, unknowingly showing me a view up his sleeve and i see his armpit... OMG or even better, they happen to have the waist of a shirt lift and catch a glimpse of their trail... Yupp!
Trevor looked over and me, smiled then closed his eyes tilted back his seat and then said, "I ate too fast" as he then lifted his shirt and i see his beautiful trail. This moment i Never saw coming. He and i so chill and relaxed together talking, sharing a meal and honest ballsiness with feeling free with me.
I never grew up a 'risk taker' kid . My friends around me did but as i grew older i learned some moments happen and you just take a chance. I looked over at Trevor as his whole open palm rubbed his nice tight abs and his hair. I asked him If he had scars and he moved his fingertips down his waist by his boxers and said, Yeah...Here, my appendix. He then said, The scar is really small, look feel...I moved my hand over and Trevor pointed his Scar. He kept his eyes closed and touching his belly was incredible!
This story and your presentation of what it means as a lesson is very lucid and fully empathic with the various sides and subtle emotional nuances of relationships among gay guys. Thanks
The process of fully internalising that you are queer definitely, like you said, comes at different times for different people. As long as no harm is being done to anyone in any way, exploration is a natural way of living especially with these things! This was a good read Darian! Your writing makes me feel like I’m right in the room with the descriptions :)
I also had a fuck buddy who didn't fully identify as gay, the truth is I never gave any importance to that as long as the sex continues to be as good as it was.
I think that’s totally valid. When it comes down to it, I think it’s what works for you out of the situation. Biggest issue is just when the ambiguity becomes a problem, which it doesn’t have to
I found this 'convo' quite surreal as the story you experienced was almost exactly the same thing happened to me 5 years ago.
At working in retail, there are many there who are also college students. The contrasting but many hours of the day allow everything to fall in place between school and work.
I noticed him immediately but didnt really talk in details with until maybe a month later. The store ofcourse kept us both really busy, but one early afternoon he walked into our stockroom and walked right up to me and started talking as if we were close friends, which we just werent. Notice one another yes feet away from eachother but during our work day, just begin in "how our weekends were", just never happened.
"Hey, whats up? You know i made three goals on Friday with my pick up team. Ive been playing for the league since i was a kid. Nothing serious, but just a decent group of guys with some random talent here and there. I play two games again next Fri, at the Iceplex, 6:30 pm"
All i could do was look into his beautiful green/gray eyes and experience how fresh his breath was. I got almost frightened at first as he just came into the stockroom with an effort as he walked right up to me. Felt like when i used to surf during highschool and all of a sudden there was a Shark. Immediate, shocking but you just knew to keep your cool and all would end well. Thats the way ' Trevor' first spoke to me after a month of my starting there. I wasnt given a chance to reply as he told me where he'd be next Fri, then he said, See ya around. He turned and walked out of the stockroom, hit and run, just like that... Lol.
Honestly we worked at the same place, but were clearly not friends. I will say i felt him notice me here and there, but never any convo. I did feel him flirting, from a distance as we worked, so i subtly followed the queues, but we just didnt speak to eachother during work. I was really into him, he was too young for me but fortunately legal, but i understood i wasnt looking for anything at the moment, but he obviously wanted me to know about his game, so i went the following week to catch his game.
I arrived at the rink and saw a few people waiting in lobby inside. I waited about 15 mins and in walks Trevor holding an over the shoulder duffle. "Im late, can you help me?" he says marching past me.I follow him into a bigger, colder room and as i finally realized im now in the changing/locker room with him. I first thought, Oh S#*! but i just went with it. He asked me to help tape up his forearm and hand. He then pulls off his sweats and puts on his gear and pads, i looked at Trevors face. He had such an older, devilish, but manly look as we rushed to get him ready. Im also seeing him, clearly unafraid to strip in front of me, even though he had boxerbriefs on, i was right there really looking at him.
His team won one game out of three.
Another evening after we both were scheduled to close at 11pm. 'Lunch' was 8pm-ish and i thought id return the abrupt, hit and run talking to him at work. I walked to him at his station where he was alone working, printing a work sheet and i just asked him if he going out for lunch. He looked me for maybe a second then turned back to his monitor. I told him, "Theres an excellent fish taco place down the street i found, Im going there for lunch, Join me" I'll be leaving in 15 ... " He never looked back, but he answered with, " Cool... seeyah there'
Since his hockey game, he wasnt more of a friend in the store, still the same quiet and always watching me, not really anymore friendly. I did learn from others guys who worked there who knew Trevor better, they of course were aware of Trevor's hockeygames, but not one ever went to one of his games from work, but Me.
That night Trevor offered to drive us to get Tacos. Finally, he started talking to me. I mostly listened to whatever and anything hed want to share in convo with me. The was amazing but the Tacos were almost two bite tacos, so eating only took 15 mins. We walked back to his car and he stretched after getting in. Now im a dude with a bodyhair fetish. Especially on young males, hair arms, legs but what does it for me is a random catching sight of a guy, unknowingly showing me a view up his sleeve and i see his armpit... OMG or even better, they happen to have the waist of a shirt lift and catch a glimpse of their trail... Yupp!
Trevor looked over and me, smiled then closed his eyes tilted back his seat and then said, "I ate too fast" as he then lifted his shirt and i see his beautiful trail. This moment i Never saw coming. He and i so chill and relaxed together talking, sharing a meal and honest ballsiness with feeling free with me.
I never grew up a 'risk taker' kid . My friends around me did but as i grew older i learned some moments happen and you just take a chance. I looked over at Trevor as his whole open palm rubbed his nice tight abs and his hair. I asked him If he had scars and he moved his fingertips down his waist by his boxers and said, Yeah...Here, my appendix. He then said, The scar is really small, look feel...I moved my hand over and Trevor pointed his Scar. He kept his eyes closed and touching his belly was incredible!
This story and your presentation of what it means as a lesson is very lucid and fully empathic with the various sides and subtle emotional nuances of relationships among gay guys. Thanks
The process of fully internalising that you are queer definitely, like you said, comes at different times for different people. As long as no harm is being done to anyone in any way, exploration is a natural way of living especially with these things! This was a good read Darian! Your writing makes me feel like I’m right in the room with the descriptions :)